Hypnobirthing - How and When

Following up to my birth story, i would like to share how and when i apply hypnobirthing technique in my birthing process. Even my birth is not as beautiful and smooth, but for me that is one of my most beautiful thing happened in my life.

during pregnancy
i can say i have the easiest pregnancy experience haha. except for 1st trimester i was at risk of miscarriage and early 2nd trimester i got skin allergy...
but i was very active..really active more than normal ppl. during this pregnancy i took up a lot of leadership roles..from my job to social events.
hypnobirth technique helped me a lot to connect with my baby and partner. positive affirmation, relaxation techniques. also i really take care of myself..the way i look, eat and behave.

birth preparation -

i downloaded few songs that make me calm
write our own birth affirmation/script
exercises that can help positioning my baby (yoga and birth ball)
massage/relaxation technique that ur hubby can do for u
breathing techniques
the most important thing - birth plan! last time i thought birth is just admit urself to hospital and let doc do everything. but when i learned about hypnobirth, i was like...heyyyy even for the simplest thing in life, i plan everything...this is birth! the important thing in life. i need to know and plan everything. i need to make sure i made informed decision.

1st stage of birthing - surges/contraction
hyonobirth opened our eyes of the whole birthing process..the drugs, tools, techniques that hospital used during birth and their risks and benefits. we are prepared emotionally and physically for birth process

ok what i appreciate the most is how i can stand my 3 days of labor! by breathing and relaxation techniques. it really helps! it helped to reserve my energy..imagine 3 sleepless night and unimaginable pain? i manage to go through without any painkiller!

2nd stage -
j breathing
birth position - tried squatting and polar bear but end up lie on the bed hee
during this stage i really shut down my mind..think of smthng nice. n reli...i dun feel pain at all!
skin to skin and delay cord clamping - both very brief coz my baby not breathing well at that time

well, what can I say hypnobirth taught me to birth without fear and manipulate my mind to go through birthing process.

pls go and sign up for the class! this is not sponsored post ok! heee

My Not So Gentle Birth Story

Fuh..ramai sebenarnya tanya pasal my birth story haha. Panjanggg ceritanya...so here it is. Sebelum mama ni jadi amnesia.


"Syg...if u dah taknak anak lagi pun i paham"

haha. mukadimmah my birth story.

1st stage: surges (contraction)

ok..ceritanya on my due date 27Dec after jumpa my gynae, petang tu dah start ada blood show.

we were so excited and start to pack everything calmly sbb contraction still light2. both of us sempat buat mars bar and beberapa aktiviti (ehem) yg boleh cepatkan proses bersalin.

pukul 11mlm macam tu baru keluar rumah. hubby drive pun relax2 je. then ktorg lepak kejap kat tmn klcc and mandarin oriental sambil lyn contraction. masa tu da 5min apart. then baru masuk pusrawi..dlm pukul 12lebih gitu. ke wad kecemasan. i insisted to walk tp dorg tak bg..prosedur katanya.
cek VE opening baru 2cm. ok..its going to be a long nite. doc noorfidak cek and ckp possible normal birth sbb mcm kecik je baby. dia sempat pujuk utk induce and guna epidural sbb first time mom and bukaan masih sikit. i said NO. ikut birth plan hehe.

contraction come and go. we applied hypnobirth technique. my hubby tertido. penat. i try to sleep between surges, take hot showers, minum air zam2 jalan2 kt labor ward, play with gym balls, birth affirmation etc.

bsok siangnya contraction drop. buat VE masih 2cm. im not feeling good. after a long nitr still 2cm? hubby call Nadine to ask for advice. i mmg dlm otak nak keluar coz maybe the environment of hospital buatkan progress slow. call dr.fidak n she agreed to release me. sbb check heartbeat baby sgt bagus. yayy!
after discharge, balik rumah and melayan contraction through the night lg..makin intense. tp i noe belum lg..


membrane release (air ketuban pecah)
ahad 29/12

pagi tu terasa mcm basah..n rasa suam. cek panties mmg soak. call doc n dia suruh monitor lg. after 6hours call dia again n monitor the water kalau berwarna hijau.
ptg tu terasa lg...n this time dah berwarna. so we go to hospital again. pray hard that our baby ok.
cek VE and opening still 2cm.. omg after 2days of labor?? i nearly give up. n pray so much n mmg dah redha. doc suggest induce. i feel defeated already.. siap bgtawu kat hubby if c-sect pun i redha..haa siap gitu lg.

then doc dtg n ckp nk induce..ltk ckit. n i nego dgn dia letak picotin time subuh. coz i nak try natural oxytocin dulu. she agreed. then....i muntah..maybe perut kosong n contraction yg intensed. bgtawu nurse n doc suruh ltk drip n picotin immediately. i was down. i noe my hubby also down..
contraction still sama..then ada progress..bukaan 6cm.

then doc tambah lagi picotin.. masa ni baru rasa sakit yg seriusly menjerit. hubby helped me to breath. n i dah start nak rasa mcm push. called nurse n bukaan dah 8cm. yayy! masa ni buat mcm position. squatting la polar bear la. n i remembered i telan 2biji telur xberapa masak satu teguk je. dlm kepala nak energy.

n yg kelakar masa tgh sakit2 tu, hubby ajar breathing n i feel something stuck in my nose! i was so irritated siap sambil korek hidung sambil marah2. my hubby tahan ketawa je. he said it was hugeeee lol


2nd stage
pushing

masa ni bukaan dah 10cm. fully dilated! akhirnyaaa. midwives cek and ckp kepala still tinggi.

i closed my eyes the whole time and practice j breathing sementara diorg siap2.
byk kali push. tapi xkeluar2. doc n semua siap zikir2.
doc asked minyak selusuh.
doc kept asking kenapa susah keluar. push da byk kali n it was ok. yg best tu kepala keluar masuk balik.
doc seluk byk kali nak tgk whats wrong. tali pusat x terbelit.

masa ni i jz pk byknya dosa aku. doa dlm hati byk2 anak selamat. i dun.care about the pain or even my own life. den try gantung kaki plak..pastu try different position plak..sampai nak terjatuh besi tu i tendang. i remembered doc add picotin until maximum.

sejam push...masih xkuar. air ketuban dah xde. so bwh memang kesat.lagi susahkan proses baby nak keluar. i dunno when doc potong bawah (episotomi).

weird thing, i dun feel pain. at all. maybe sbb dah byk sakit masa contraction. i kept my eyes closed as much as possible n think of smthng nice during the whole process

then doc suruh bwk masuk mesin scan..nk tgk kedudukan baby. if baby OP maybe tu sbb slow sgt.. but alhamdulillah baby OA. Then check heartbeat baby. dah start drop.

doc n nurses keluar kejap utk prepare OT..Sbb maybe emergency c-sect.
dia bg peluang utk push lagi..still tak keluar. fuhhhh

then last option: vacuum. if vacuum x jalan...mmg csect..

alhamdulillah dgn sekali push dgn bantuan vacuum, baby Akyd akhirnya keluar. I saw my hubby nanges. i was blur. then dgr doc ckp "patutlahh susah..besar rupanya baby"

takbir, salam dan selawat.

oxytocin peaked. i feel like falling in love again. with my baby n hubby.

skin to skin contaact with baby. still feel surreal. tak percaya  get thru dat.  kiss from hubby. he smiled..a smile that i never seen b4.

nafas baby pendek..rupanya dia da tertelan poo poo. so kejap je skin to skin..

masa menjahit tu borak2 dgn doc. she said i kuat semangat n how it was so close to csect. i didnt take any kind of pain killer b4 or after delivery or gas. lamaaaa doc jahit and she told me byk jahitan..luar dalam.. ohhh n she did said "serik". hehe.

3 days of labor, 1 hour of countless pushing. priceless moment.

syukur diberi peluang oleh Allah utk merasa nikmatnya bersalin normal.
hubby yg witnessed the whole thing kept saying "insaf" and he said he cried to see both baby n myself fight for life.

to women out there, jgn risau bersalin. sungguh ketika itu akan datang kekuatan yg kita tak pernah sangka ada :)

30.12.2013

adui boleh terlupa ada blog haha
anyway, alhamdulillah i have delivered a cute baby boy on 30dec 2013. penutup tirai 2013 katanya.
nama diberi: Wan Akyd Rizqi bin Wan Mohd Fauzan
Berat: 3.66kg
birth story coming soon!

Moment of Truth

While waiting the time of my delivery, I never forget about the thing that had happened to me early this year.

A loss is still a loss, no matter how "normal" it is, how "small" it is..

Different people takes it differently. For me, it changes my life. It changes the way I appreciate every little thing in my life. Change the way I love people. Make me stronger (and weaker at times)

I am always a fighter. I fight till I get the thing I want. Also I am a good actress I would say. The person who can see my true color is my husband.

It is hard. Especially to hear people's feedback about this. Some are not considerate (maybe they never gone through this) and some are real supportive. The last person u expect will ask personally about my condition, is among the first who whatsapp me. I truly appreciate it.

The fear of never ever getting chance to be a mama. Fear of something is really wrong with me. Fear that people are right..

I got some people who asked me whether I dah ada "isi" ke belum few days after my miscarriage. Ada yang ckp horror stories, about I might never pregnant again

It feels like a punishment at first..Allah gave u something and take it back too soon.

From that moment, I tried to conceive again even my gynae warned me not too for at least 3 months. The first month is full of tears. It was quite depressing to see negative symbol. Last time, when I was pregnant I got another 4 person who pregnant also at the same time. Also my bestfriends who personally asked me and shared their good news when they successfully conceived just after few weeks I miscarried. My circle is full with good news. I cant be selfish and blamed them as they have all the reasons in the world to be happy..just like ur happy on your graduation day, wedding day, anything! but I know the level of joy of being pregnant is 100times better.Only a mother can understand this. I never understand this until I am a mother. I was truly happy, still sharing tips etc but as a normal person, sometimes I found myself cried in the middle of the night.  

People who never experienced loss will never understand this.

Allah is great. He gave me another chance. This time, I will make sure I take care of my baby. Give the best for him. Shower him with the love. Capture and enjoy every moment. Cause I never know when it will be ended. Even I am doing that, people keep giving negative responses.

Parenting is not only a natural process. I have zero knowledge. Then I have to learn. I dont know why people make big fuss about it, its not that i commit crime. I just want to be a better parent coz I know that I have a lot of weakness in my life. I never a good daughter..

I never regret about my miscarriage and my short TTC journey. Sometimes I flashback and make me feel more grateful about anything..some people just picture me as being showing off.. or too excited. Allah knows best and I am lucky that I have circle of positive family and friends.

I pray that all my pregnant ladies, moms and TTCians to be well and hope their dreams come true. ameen ameen.

never count on others' people blessings..u never know their battle and focus more on your own blessings..no one is better than anyone. I may have this wonderful story, I also have struggles in life. Alhamdulillah for everything :)

38 weeks

Hi semua..

Minggu ni dah 38 weeks..dah kena buat weekly checkup..sebab tahap kesihatan diri pun tak berapa optimum. Owh well..dah dekat2 ni macam2 la masalah baru timbul. InsyaAllah I'm keeping myself positive sebab all through 9 months, I am really healthy :)

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah utk aku mencapai gentle birth.

Last week check up air ketuban kurang..this week air ketuban masih kurang and baby kedudukan OP. Dalam 1 week jugaklah berat naik lebih 1kg. Dah terasa badan tak best sebab pulun makan kek, aiskrim and makan berkali2 satu masa meal tu..haha. Makanya, kena yoga and exercise lebih la ni..n kali ni kena amek MC..

Ok..i reli keen to update everything around my preparation and also parenthood journey..tp still contemplating..should i update here or create new blog? hmmm hmmm

I love sharing..lagipun seronok sebab mmg ramai yang tanya macam2..especially i really want to share about my crazy experience in raising my baby dgn career yg demanding.

lets see how..i got 1 free week  haha

Tanda2 Awal Pregnant

Ramai yang tanya pasal tanda2 awal pregnant. For me I have this symptom twice!

Masa yang 1st time preggy, tanda2 tu agak2 obvious..

1. Sudden increase of appetite

2. Breast tenderness, serious sgt sakit

3. Instinct kot...

Owh..lagi satu..xde angin, xde ribut, tiba2 join netball team kat opis. Siap beli lagi bola nak praktis haha. Serius hubby terkejut. Sebab last time I played was during primary school.

Then, my closed fren kat opis yg tgh preggy knew about my intention about playing netball. Asked me about my period etc. I was quite in denial sbb baru sgt kawen kot haha. She forced me to buy UPT.

2nd time...

I feel nothing...my breast pun x tender macam masa 1st time dulu.. tp yang pasti, my instinct was quite strong that something is happening.. sbb bdn rasa panas lain macam. I feel a bit tired. I even bought UPT and tested it before my expected period day

Then masa hari yang patut period tu, ada blood stain. I was quite confident tu period. I was a bit dissapointed but relief as well..sbb shows that my period is regular.

Tapi.......that it is. Sekali tu je blood stain. Then xde...then next few days ada lagi sikit tompok. Then try UPT. Alhamdulillah. I am pregnant! Perasaan takut tu lebih dari excited sebenarnya..takut berulang lagi. So sentiasa berjaga2.

Owh doktor pun "marah" sbb 1 month + je beza, dah lekat balik. huhu

Anyway, susah nak cakap pasal tanda2 awal pregnant ni sebab tanda dia sgt similar dgn nak period. Doa banyak2 dalam tu dijaga n lekat. InsyaAllah.

3rd trimester

Alhamdulillah
sometimes i can't believe we made this through this far. Syukur sgt2.

keadaan awal 3rd trimester
- sangat3 aktif, semua org tegur..few colleagues yg sama term dgn i pun dah nampak slow tp i still xsedar diri
- baby is so genius. responding to our action
- badan rasa berat..haha

i had tough 1st tri...alhamdulillah now im on top of my health. looking forward to his grand entrance. everyday sure excited coz everyday is one day closer to see him

- its amazing how baby masih dlm perut pun boleh buat both of us ketawa heee.

syukur :)