Cita-cita dan Jerebu

Sekarang i sangat jarang drive to work. Kadang2 je bila tuntutan kerja..
Except for all the headaches and hormonal changes i experienced during pregnancy, I have always love driving to work.

Reason being, bila drive sorang2..tu je la masa untuk betul2 bersendiri dan refleks diri. Maklumlah dah kahwin ni xde privacy. Dalam toilet pun kene kacau! Opsss...

Ok, when I drove to work last few days, of course I can clearly see the haze. It was bad. Very bad. Then it makes me thinking/flashback on my childhood ambition.

I can say I got variety of "not-so-normal" childhood ambition. Masa tadika lagi dah bercita2 nak jadi perdana menteri. Budak2 lain sibuk nak jadi polis la, posmen la, aku nak jd PM. Mampu? hahaa.

Anyway, around primary school my ambition was to be an environmentalist. Aktivis Alam Sekitar hahaa. Maybe sebab dari kecik banyak baca buku overseas and pasal science and stuffs. I am sooo soo determined to be one. I started to do research on my own..gi library (dulu xde google), potong surat khabar, buat artikel and buat buku scrap pasal alam sekitar. Serious i was reli determined to do that. Turn out semuanya bukan sia2 sebab i made good essays and all those resources were used during debate team.

Tapi macam biasa, selalunya niat murni ketika kecil2 selalu dilenyek dengan realiti. Bila disogok dengan cerita kerja ni xde duit, kena penjara, etc etc. Then jadi macam...okla..pun terlupa.

Bila flashback balik, kadang2 kita kena kembali masa zaman muda2/budak2., ketika niat suci dan murni. Terfikir macam mana semua manusia yang tak bertanggung jawab ni boleh jadi begitu. Padahal i am confident that dulu dia pun mempunyai cita2 murni cuma manusia mudah lupa.

Maka kawan2, mari kita flashback apa impian dan niat baik kita dulu2. Even cita2 tu tak kesampaian, tapi langkah2 lain masih boleh kita implement. Just imagined our little me discovered that we have grown up to be such an irresponsible person.

Ingat balik kenapa kita nak jadi cikgu? Kenapa kita belajar? Kenapa kita nak jadi kita yang hari ni?
I think if everyone takes time to do this, we live in a better world.

So..apa ye langkah saya untuk contribute alam sekitar? :)

Marriage :)

Looking back at our honeymoon pictures..and how surreal it was! We were like "fantasty" land everytime. Alhamdulillah for this happiness.

Look back at the past 8 months we have been together.. We have learnt sooo much about each other. We are happy most of the times, and also some times storm came, to strehgthen our relationship.

I could not ask for more. Sometimes I told Allah, he is too good for me, I think because of my parents prayers.

Anyway, bila dah kahwin ni banyak jugak perangai2 yang kita x pernah tawu even dah bertahun2 bercinta. He always pamper me. Ada org ckp sebab im preggy. I dont know, coz im preggy most of the times! haha.

Yang paling obvious ialah perangai membebel dia yg i like.

"Sayang, make sure letak sini. Sayang...pastikan meja tu clear. Sayang..dah habis makan letak kat dapur..etc etc"

I dont know about him, but I feel complete. Jemaah everytime, makan sama2, sharing session every night, "kutuk" each other. Couldnt imagine life without him.

I am confident that he will be a great father. InsyaAllah. This is the feeling of married couple. Happiness. Calm. Even in difficulties. Especially when new family sets in, i feel more complete. Marriage is not all about him only..also about his family that I love as much as my own family.

Anyway, to my dear hubby. Tq for everything. I am truly grateful to have u in my life. Lets pray that Allah will always cherish us with love and iman.

Happy birthday to you! We will enjoy your birthday celebration "adult" way hahaha :P

Ujian dan hikmah

I think most of ppl know..i lost my precious angel on last january. That is one of the most devastated moment i ever had in my life.

I came out strong. At times i was weak.

Alhamdulillah Allah gave me another chance. I am afraid all the time. I had nightmares..smtms i cannot sleep at night. I check myself almost every 15mins.. Plus my pregnancy tis time is not that easy. I had bleeding again around 8weeks. I cried shamelessly in front of ppl. My hubby always there for me. Its not easy for him, i know. Also, every week I need to get injection from clinic to increase my hormone..also scan for every 2 weeks. I never feel burdened by that as I can see progress of my baby from setitik dot until now jadi baby.

I had my miscarriage once. Tp ppl keep saying. Jg2...asek gugur je. Haiya...n ppl joke at me siap ckp nak bg anak dia kt ktorg..haih. Maybe diorg lupa we're jz married for couple of months. In fact im.pregnant twice in 5months!

I pray day n night. In my prayer i say to Allah i am willing to bear all the pains and i am willing to gv my life to make sure my baby is survived n healthy. I feel happy when i feel the pain, and when i'm not i will start worry..haha. God knows how patience my husband is.. Also my family n friend.. Friend who never fail to ask about me..n not bored to hear about my progress..Thank you dear :)

I never knew dat i will have this strong mom's instinct. I am truly grateful for the bad times as i became more appreciate n the bonding with my baby.
I became weak...not active...cant do loads of things..but everything jz felt so sweet. I am willing to gv anything n everything.
I know my journey is still long...uncertain. I am grateful that i am given this chance. Tq baby for being strong n make mama n daddy become stronger n love each other more n more.
Gambar ni masa 10weeks. Sgt xpercaya ada smthng in my womb. N at 12 weeks u already smile and waving to us. U are so active! Your grandparents pun x percaya when we told them, but when they saw the picture, they were touched. I do not have softcopy of that picture.will post later.

Alhamdulillah :-)

Kehidupan Selepas..... & Pengalaman Berpantang

Hi everyone..
Rasa macam nak update tentang hidup post miscarriage.

Ok..selepas D&C, saya pun melalui proses berpantang seperti org2 beranak.
Takdelah strict sgt tapi i can proudly say I follow la most of berpantang. Sebab dalam pikiran nak lekat cepat2, nak sihat cepat2.

Rutin berpantang keguguran
pagi - hubby sediakan air mandian herba dan bertungku. Tungku ni light2 je n jangan letak di bahagian rahim. sarapan kadang2 shake herbalife, kadang2 roti

pakai stokin setiap masa. sepanjang hari memang berehat sahaja atau tengok tv atau baca buku. ye. memang bosan. kipas pun xleh kuat2.
tgh hari - lunch: ikan selar bakar, sawi sup, ikan bilis lada hitam, bubur kosong, ikan singgang, pernah buat kari, kdg2 beli ayam kampung goreng tu, buah oren, buah epal. elakkan makanan yang sejuk, sayur menjalar, buah2 tempatan, ikan2 berbisa

ptg - mandi herba, letak minyak herbanika satu badan. kadang2 kalau rajin bertangas.

ohhh saya memang beli satu set NR. Pagi2 makan 2 biji phytonatal n phytocleanse. asid folic n vitamin lain pun x dilupa. Air akar herbanika tu minum sepanjang masa. owh bengkung mmg xpakai la..

Berpantang sendiri di rumah bersama suami. Achievement juga. haha.

Semua aturan berpantang memang dari belajar sendiri suka hati, dari kawan2 yg baru beranak dan dari mak bidan. Saya after 1 week D&C start mengurut setiap minggu. Tepat 30 days berpantang, buat rawatan penutup, sengkak rahim.

Walau berpantang, perkara yang paling susah ialah untuk duduk diam. Bab makanan alhamdulillah boleh control tapi bab nak kuar tu memang susah. 3 days after D&C dah gi tgk wayang..5 days after dah pergi bagi talk kat sekolah. 7 days after gi setup candy buffet. Lepas tu balik kampung. haha. Alhandulillah ada business, so xdela mati kutu sangat. Ada je mende yang boleh dibuat.

Syukur sangat memang sangat sihat sepanjang2 tempoh berpantang dan juga selepas tu. Tak ada demam, pening kepala atau sakit perut etc. Bila follow up check up pun doc cakap rahim nampak cantik. Cuma perut selepas pantang 40 hari jadi sangat sensitif. makan yang pelik sikit je terus cirit birit. haha. Sebab dah lama makan bersih je kan..

Alhamdulillah semua yang dilalui memang rasa smooth. Dalam tempoh sebulan memang ada beberapa kali termenangis sebab rindukan baby. Apapun, memang kehidupan diteruskan seperti biasa, malah lebih bersemangat :)

Owh lupa..banyak ilmu saya dapat dari bidan muda vogue lagi cantik, Kak Ice. She is very very good. Urutan dia pun best n she is highly demanded. Memang da letak dalam kepala la kalau ada rezeki baby lagi, memang nak amek dia. Boleh carik dia kat fb Siti Aishah Confinement. You wont regret :D